17th July - Memories in the corners of my mind

Have you ever noticed how some days are just full of memories - dates are linked with people and events... some dates have great memories and some not so great. Well this date is a tough one for me - tough in the previous relationship sense. I have typed this blog and deleted it a few times now, so as i try and find the words to express my thoughts forgive the ramblingness of this blog.

Y'see just because you break up with someone and life moves on it doesn't mean you don't still care about what happens to them, hope they're happy, growing with God and enjoying life. IT'S A COMPLICATED FEELING ISN'T IT - LETS NOT CONFUSE IT WITH REGRET OR THINK I'M WISHING THINGS WERE DIFFERENT. . .TRULY I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER - However on this day I choose to remember the good times, the Wham songs, the times we led worship together, the nights out clubbing, the wine tasting sessions, our couples homegroup . . . we really had some laughs. I'd rather focus on all the good times than the bad. On this day in future i'm gonna choose to celebrate the love we had rather than moan about the bad things that evolved and end up feeling sorry for myself. In the past I have been focused on where and how things went wrong and fruitless sadness like that. Forgiveness is a truly wonderful gift - both being forgiven and doing the forgiving. Heartache is nasty: when I fell in love with EdEd I didn't forget all the experience from before - it's been like a scar - it's faded with time and after a while it's not sensitive any more. Forgiveness has brought a liberty in my heart that I can't explain but am so happy about.