I am not on the top of the world when...in particular order...

1. The garage ring and tell me the car is going to take ages to be fixed and it's going to cost alot of money.
2. The garage then ring and say they now don't know what's wrong with the car and they think it's going to cost alot to fix.
3. The garage ring a week and a half later to say the car will have to go to another garage to be fixed cos they haven't got a clue how to fix it!!!!!!!!!
4. The new garage ring and tell me they have tried everything the can and now they are going on guess work as to try and fix it.
5. I AM STILL WAITING AND THE BILL IS MOUNTING!!!

I'm on top of the world when...in no particular order...

1. My lovely mate rings me and tells me she's had a baby girl! WOWOWOW
2. P walks in from work and kisses me - he says 'hello darling' without saying a word
3. I can't sleep in the middle of the night and God starts to show me stuff
4. I'm watching Pride and Prejudice....mmmm Mr Darcy....
5. Every morning when Little one wakes and smiles more amazingly than words can say

SCARY MOVIES

I currently find myself in a predicament - EdEd and I are watching a movie that is scary - can't name it right now. I am blogging to avoid the feeling of being afraid - SCARY MOVIES ARE MOST DEFINITELY NOT MY THING.

I'm remembering when I first watched Silence of the Lambs - I couldn't even walk through my parents house where I had lived all my life in the dark on my own! I knew that it was phenomenally unlikely that I or anyone I loved would be the victim of a murderer/cannibal but still it gave me real nightmares and intimidated me. I really ought to just not ever watch movies that are a bit scary but I've noticed that as time has gone on I've got worse. Now instead of just not watching Horror/thriller genre I can't watch things that are tense or remotely nasty. Soon I'll be left with the romance or comedy option - and frankly that's just not great.

Anyway I think i'll finish my Harry Potter - that's about as dangerous as I can cope with - funny I can fight things in the demonic realms but get scared by scary movies! Go Figure!

17th July - Memories in the corners of my mind

Have you ever noticed how some days are just full of memories - dates are linked with people and events... some dates have great memories and some not so great. Well this date is a tough one for me - tough in the previous relationship sense. I have typed this blog and deleted it a few times now, so as i try and find the words to express my thoughts forgive the ramblingness of this blog.

Y'see just because you break up with someone and life moves on it doesn't mean you don't still care about what happens to them, hope they're happy, growing with God and enjoying life. IT'S A COMPLICATED FEELING ISN'T IT - LETS NOT CONFUSE IT WITH REGRET OR THINK I'M WISHING THINGS WERE DIFFERENT. . .TRULY I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER - However on this day I choose to remember the good times, the Wham songs, the times we led worship together, the nights out clubbing, the wine tasting sessions, our couples homegroup . . . we really had some laughs. I'd rather focus on all the good times than the bad. On this day in future i'm gonna choose to celebrate the love we had rather than moan about the bad things that evolved and end up feeling sorry for myself. In the past I have been focused on where and how things went wrong and fruitless sadness like that. Forgiveness is a truly wonderful gift - both being forgiven and doing the forgiving. Heartache is nasty: when I fell in love with EdEd I didn't forget all the experience from before - it's been like a scar - it's faded with time and after a while it's not sensitive any more. Forgiveness has brought a liberty in my heart that I can't explain but am so happy about.

to potter or not to potter - that is the question

Dear fellow bloggers - On Saturday morning I will be waiting for our good lady postie to deliver my new Harry Potter in the manner of a child waiting for Christmas. I love these books - the originality, the characters, the imagery, the twists. However I am aware of the massive controversy that surrounds these stories in Christian circles. How do you all feel about these wizarding stories? Are they modern classics just like Dahl and Kipling? Or do you think they're evil and should be discouraged among good christian folk? I am interested to know - feel free to be blunt and honest about your opinion.

PS - irritating that there is no sprll chick on blpg

the gift of companionship

Why is it females often go to the toliet in twos? Is it some link with the animals in the ark? I think not - hope not! There is something in women which makes them enjoy chit chatting with other women. I love being with my girl mates just chatting about stuff. Chilling, hanging out, drinking coffee and eating muffins, shopping, trying on clothes, watching tv, cooking just being in the company of a good mate and relaxing is lush! Why is it men don't go to the toliet in twos?

Mothers reality ride

Alarm 1 loud blaring sound - Time 5:30 - Husband's wake up call (nasty time of day)
Alarm 2 smiling baby girl - Time 5:53 - Her smiling eyes say to me 'feed me mummy - i'm happy to see you!' she's her fathers daughter so food is probably her first thought of the day.

Lying in bed I watched her smiling for a few minutes - it struck me again how deep the love I feel for her really is. The reach of this love is far, its stretch is wide and its depth is deep. Truely it is beyond my comprehension. I would risk my life to save hers, walk miles to reach her in the desert if she needed help, I could go on and on.

Only in the last few months have I started to truely understand God's love for us. I have sung about it, talked about it, done life with it for 18 years (oldness whince). Yet each day the love I feel for my own daughter grows deeper - the more I realise how much more unfathomable God's love for us is. Truely it is amazing. This isn't sentimental or emotional - it's a ground breaking, life changing, selfless love that is limitless.

Little Madder's

To everyone who helped yesterday - THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU - You made her day special and we love you for it - we really really do xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

woah heat?

Have you ever thought what it would be like to live in a different country? One where the heat was beating on your head or the icy cold was freezing what seemed to be a permanent drip on the end of your nose - I reckon our little island has wonderful weather - some sun, some rain, a little snow, a little heat wave - really we are blessed. I have heard some people complain about the weather - especially the rainy weather - but y'know some countries have it so hot that they can grow nothing - some have so much rain that all they can grow very little. Why do people moan about the weather - i've never understood it!!!!!! When i hear people moan I just smile an go 'Oh i know' But in my head i'm like 'WILL YOU STOP MOANING - STOP IT - STOP IT NOW!'

Have finally got around to this - seems very strange to me that i should post some of my thoughts in a place where everyone should see them - will give it a go though.

Can obviously talk and talk and talk endlessly - but typing to no one seems weird!

Today is my baby girls dedication - while i'm not nervous i am conscious that many of the unsaved people in our world, that we do aspects of our life with, are going to be there. I'm lying in bed praying with Madders that they will be touched by God's love and open their hearts to the story of our testimony.